Word of the Day: Empathy

I have always been a highly empathetic person. Understanding and feeling the emotions that others experience comes naturally to me. Within recent years I have recognized that I have often operated with an over abundance of empathy, taking on emotions that I never needed to internalize.

Empathy is a highly regarded trait, one we are often taught to aspire to, but what does it actually mean? Here we’ll explore the truth of empathy through etymology.

empathy (noun) : the ability to understand and share the feelings of another

The root of empathy is the Greek word pathos meaning “feeling” or “suffering.” The prefix em- here means “in.” Putting these two together we see that another way to define empathy is “in feeling” or “in suffering.” The PIE root word is kwent(h) meaning “to suffer.”

Here we see that one way of defining empathy is “in suffering.” In empathy, we understand that others are suffering or feeling and we share in that suffering or feeling. We join them “in suffering” or “in feeling.”

The upside to this is that we make others feel understood. Suffering can feel isolating at times. Someone who shows us empathy in times of suffering can make us feel that although we are experiencing something challenging, at least we are understood and not alone in it.

If we are able to understand the experience of others, we have a deeper insight into the type of support that they might need. We can remember what has helped us feel supported in similar feelings, and use that as a guide for the type of support we might offer. Empathy helps build trust and connection while helping us to understand diverse experiences.

The downside is that where there was one person in suffering, now there are two. As empaths, we must be mindful of our emotional state. Two people in anger doesn’t necessarily help heal anger. Joining someone in the feeling of grief doesn’t make grief go away. Joining others in the feelings only makes them feel less alone in the feelings.

This is helpful in a temporary sense. In the longer term vision of healing, we are invited to help each other process, learn from, and release the experience of suffering.

If you are sensitive to the emotions of others, it can be helpful to remember that the true meaning of empathy is “in suffering.” Do you actually wish to remain in suffering? Is there a way to make others feel heard, understood, and remind them that they are not alone without joining in the suffering?

Tomorrow we’ll explore the word compassion and how it might help to lift us out of collective suffering.