Word of the Day: Toxic
With the prevalence of therapy speak on platforms like TikTok, we hear the word toxic used more and more these days. Toxic relationships, toxic workplaces, toxic masculinity, toxic politics, etc. Anything we feel harmed or hurt by is labeled “toxic.” Identifying things that cause us to feel hurt is helpful but the work doesn’t stop there.
Words like toxic, gas lighting, and narcissist are often used without a clear understanding of what they actually mean. There’s a lot to unpack on the topic of therapy speak, but let’s start by exploring the true meaning of the word toxic and how understanding this true meaning can help us in healing.
toxic (adjective) :
poisonous
very harmful or unpleasant in pervasive or insidious way
Toxic is a relatively modern word. It’s rooted in the 17th century words toxique (French) and toxicus (Late Latin) / toxicum (Latin) which mean “poisoned” and “poison.” There are also Greek words from around this time with similar meanings. The Greek word toxikon means “poison for use on arrows” and stems from similar words used in archery.
Related words and phrases like “toxic waste” and “toxin” were introduced in 1888 and 1955 respectively.
The word toxic was used sparsely until a major spike around the 1980s. Toxic was always used in reference to poisonous substances until this time. During the 1980s, self help books became quite popular. Self help authors introduced the word toxic as a way of describing harmful people and situations. This is where the second definition of toxic developed. It was not previously associated with psychology or therapy.
In truth the word toxic means poisonous. When someone is under the influence of alcohol we say that they are intoxicated. This is because alcohol is a poison. Intoxicate and toxic both come from the root word toxicum meaning poison.
In modern usage, we see the second definition of the word used often. The definition says that toxic means very harmful or unpleasant in an insidious way. Insidious means gradual and subtle, but with harmful effects.
If we notice we are in a “toxic” situation, meaning one that feels very harmful and unpleasant, we are invited to remove ourselves from the situation and create safer environments for ourselves. If we notice a “toxic” trait within ourselves, we are invited to change.
When words are overused and weaponized they become further removed from their true meaning. The power of the true meaning can get lost. With the word toxic we are invited to carefully ensure that we aren’t throwing it around as an insult without inviting the true change it guides us towards. Labeling something as “toxic” without accepting the invitation to change the situation and heal from it helps no one in the long run.
If you find yourself in a relationship, work environment, or other situation that feels very harmful, remember that the true meaning of the word toxic is poisonous. You might ask yourself, “Am I willing to continue to drink this poison?”
If you are no longer willing to poison yourself then you must make change. That change starts within. Find a support system, leave the toxic relationship or job, transform your own harmful habits, create safe environments for yourself and those around you. Do your best.
If you are drinking poison, how can you help clean up the collective toxic waste? As we learned from the word comfort, we are more able to support others when we are strong and safe. Together, let’s make an effort to heal from emotional, mental, spiritual, and environmental toxins so that we can better support one another. If you need support, please reach out.
