Word of the Day: Comfort
Whenever I am prompted to imagine a perfect life for myself, comfort comes up as a part of the vision. In these visions, comfort feels like stability, security, joy, ease, and the knowing that I have everything I need.
This morning I was speaking with a friend who expressed feeling unfamiliar with comfort. She expressed that in the experience of complex trauma discomfort has been a norm. Now, when things are “comfortable” she feels anxious. She is waiting for the other shoe to drop and craving the chaos she has become used to. This is something many of us are familiar with in CPTSD.
Hearing this prompted me to explore the truth of what it means to feel comfort. I hope that the truth will provide healing wisdom and insight to help us overcome anxiety.
comfort (noun) :
a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint
the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress
The root of comfort is the Latin word fortis meaning “strong.” Other relatives of comfort include the Latin word confortare and the Old French word conforter which both mean “strengthen.” In middle English comfort meant “strengthening, support, consolation.” Another related word from Old English is frofor which means “state of enjoyment resulting from satisfaction of bodily wants and freedom from anxiety.” The use of the word comfort to mean “something producing physical ease” became more widely used in the mid 17th century.
The word fort means “a fortified place, a stronghold.” The prefix com- means either “with” or “completely.”
We can see from etymology that comfort is rooted in strength. We see the word fort in related words like fortification and fortify. Something that is comforting is strengthening. When we comfort others we are lending strength to them in times of need.
The word has become associated with ease and alleviation because of the support that we feel in strength. There is a physical ease and freedom in strength. Knowing that we are protected by the fort, or fortified place, eases anxiety and potential fear about our environment. It makes us feel safe.
On the other hand, when we experience discomfort we lack this feeling of strength and security. We don’t feel that we are in the fortified place or stronghold. We feel anxious. We seek support and consolation.
An invitation when we feel discomfort is to remember that comfort is in rooted in strength. Can we shift our perspective on discomfort and view it as opportunity to build strength?
If I feel uncomfortable with my financial circumstances, can I make an effort to fortify my savings account? If I feel uncomfortable in my physical environment are there ways to fortify the space? If I am uncomfortable in a relationship are there stronger connections I can nurture, boundaries I can strengthen, or strength I can cultivate within myself?
Likewise, when we feel strong and others feel weak we are invited to comfort them. This is the truth of comfort, giving and receiving support where it is needed. What a wonderful opportunity for collective strengthening.
